What's in a Real Relationship?

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   The most important first issue of ALL Relationships is that "Love" is truly Unconditional, and if you choose to be with someone, then you must Accept Them for Who & How they truly Are from the Beginning, and Not what YOU Want them to Be!!!

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The Basic Rules:

 

      Before a person gets into a serious relationship where someone is Trusting in them to be "Faithful" & "Do Their Part"... They must first ask themselves if they are Truly Ready to Commit ALL that is Needed & Expected to it?  If they are young and still doing things with others, then they should wait.  If they do not WAIT, then they will only HURT the one that they are with.  This causes people to then become Scarred & Not Trust in Future Relations with others.

 

      If a person still wants to go out and "Party" with friends and be Wild in nature, then they should wait until they have done those things enough to get them out of their system, and are finally ready to Settle down.  Do not commit to Someone or Something that you cannot Give EQUALLY back to as much as you receive.  Both individuals must be truly READY & Mature enough to Share in the Responsibilities of what they begin.  So, ALWAYS be Honest with YOURSELF & OTHERS!

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      Sex is a very important issue in ALL relationships between Lovers.  It must be thought through and talked about very Carefully before moving forward...  Will both individuals be completely Satisfied with just each other?  Are there ANY Wants or Needs that they may disagree on?  People Must Be UPFRONT & HONEST from the very beginning!  If Not, it will not work and they will Both be Hurt & Very Disappointed in the end!

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      Some of the most important concerns are:

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      Do they Agree on "Religious Issues" & Spiritual Outlooks?  

 

      Are they Both willing to Accept Each Other - AS THEY TRULY ARE!?

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      What are the things that they do NOT LIKE about each other?

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      Do BOTH of their plans in Life Work Together?

 

      Are they Both Willing to Take Their Time & Equally Invest in a REAL AGREEMENT First?

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     Does either of them have a "Bucket List" of things they want to do that might one day go against their Original Commitment?

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      Are they BOTH Sincerely READY & Truly Understanding of the FULL IMPACT & COMPLETE NEEDS for what they are doing?

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      One should Never Commit to ANYTHING if Either Person is Not 100% FULLY SURE!!!

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      Get YOUR Fantasies & Wild Days Over with First - Before YOU Even THINK About starting a serious "Relationship!"

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      Both sides should completely Agree on ALL areas before Moving Forward!

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   A FULL UNDERSTANDING of Each of their Sexual Needs, Expectations, Likes, Dislikes, & Desires, must be thoroughly discussed and Openly Agreed On - before Moving Forward.

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     Each side should also Agree to WAIT at least a few years before having children.

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   If Either Side HOLDS BACK Information or the Truth about ANY of their Needs, Issues, or Desires, then they will NOT be "Happy" or ever at complete Peace & Satisfaction with their Partner.  Neither side should ever try to HIDE something from the other because they are AFRAID of what the other person may think or do...  It will only make things very hard to deal with by living in a LIE, and set a relationship up for direct failure! 

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Understanding Relations with Family, Lovers, and Friends:

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      In our lives, we will have Family, Friends, Lovers, Co-workers, and Neighbors...  At some point, everyone will disagree on something.  No two people are the same!  Everyone has their own Wants, Needs, and Personal Views.  Therefore, the different issues of people will eventually mean that one must give in to the Wants or Needs of another, from time-to-time.  No two people will ALWAYS Want or Need the same things.  

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    In these grey areas of people's lives, they must be Patient and Willing to be FAIR to one another...  It cannot be onesided - All of the time.  So, everyone must Equally Give, and be able to Peacefully Accept the needs of another, when/if it outweighs the needs of their own.  This is called, "Compromise!"

 

      Under No Circumstances should one ever make another feel "Lesserthan" or "Beneath Them" in any way!  A person that is truly "Self-Absorbed" with Cocky Arrogant Pride, is the WORST form of Selfish, Childish, Ignorant, & Self-Diluted Attitude that anyone can ever have.  They are NOT READY for ANYTHING - Especially A Relationship - until they finally GROW UP!!!  Those types of people are usually filled with MANY Insecurities & Unadmitted Regrets!  So, No One or Relationship can "Help Them" or withstand such a Foolish Nature & Should NEVER Even Try!  Do NOT Get Involved with someone that has a worse Attitude and Greater Needs than a 5-year-old!  Just give them the number of a Good Local Therapist, Recommend that they Join "J.A." (Jackasses Anonymous), & Advise them to Get A Decent Hobby in Life!  Then, Simply Smile & Walk Away...  It will do them More Good than you will ever imagine.

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      When people do get involved with someone serious, it is usually because they do not want to be Lonely & They are "Looking for Happiness" in the end...  However, their "Happiness" must first come from within!  No one else can ever make another "Happy" until they are happy on their own.  So, one must find their own peace beforehand, and then they will be truly "Happy" no matter what!

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      It is Human Nature to have Emotions & Feel Frustrated at times...  These are issues that affect us all.  No one is perfect; nor does any person have the ability to Satisfy another person at All Times!  Because everyone is Unique & Different, it is just Not Possible to ALWAYS make someone else "Happy" in Every Issue!  This is why we Must Compromise & Learn to Better Understand One Another.  So, keep this in mind if you feel let down in your own needs at times, because the one you may be Relying on, also has their own needs and issues to deal with.

 

      Everyone disagrees at some point, whether they are Related, or Not!  If two people are related, then there is usually more Emotion between them because they know each other so well, and expect more "Compromise & Understanding" from one another.  This is even more so, between Lovers, because their "Hearts & Personal Interests" are directly involved.

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      People want to be Loved, Respected, Appreciated, Admired and made to feel that they are truly Important & Special to those that they care about.  Sometimes, we can ALL Fail to Properly Acknowledge someone when they really want it or need it.  This can hurt someone's feelings and make them feel sad or depressed.  It can even lead to them acting out in Anger or Frustration because they almost feel a sense of self-unworthiness or a betrayal of others.  

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      WE CANNOT ALWAYS HAVE WHAT WE WANT ALL OF THE TIME!!!  Life just does NOT Work that way!  People have their own issues to deal with on their own, without having to make up for others.  So, we must ALL Work Together, as much as we can, to Help one another, when, and as, we can.  No one can expect MORE than that in the end; because it's just NOT FAIR or Possible for others to GIVE MORE than they truly can!  And, Everyone falls short in Life, on occasion. 

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      Everyone has their Own Goals & Dreams!  Everyone has Desires!  Everyone has Needs! Everyone has Issues to Deal With!  Everyone has at least One Thing that they Really Want & Feel A Need to Achieve!  Everyone has a LIFE TO LIVE!!!

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     We must ALL Understand that it is up to Each & Every One of us to do our parts in ANY Relationship!  No one should be More Giving or Caring than another...  That is just NOT FAIR!  So, in EVERY AREA & WAY, We Each Have to Do Our Part & Be RESPONSIBLE!!!

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       The old saying, "For Better & For Worse" is very True & Accurate!  ALL Relationships have their Ups & Downs...  Just like the continued Seasons of the year - Everything changes in the Circle of Life!  We must make the BEST out of Each & Every Season, for what it truly is.  So, even though the Summer may be really HOT, in the Fall, it will Cooldown again...  Then, in the Coldness of the Winter, it will remind us of the FIRE that used to keep us so Warm...  Such are ALL things in the World of Life & Living: For a simple Short Period of Time, things become Hot, Warm, Cool, Cold, as they continue to go round...  Nothing Lasts Forever - Except Unconditional LOVE & RESPECT!!!

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      When people get together with the Plans of Staying Together Forever...  They must Understand what is going to Eventually Happen in their lives.  There will be Hard & Trying Times for Each of them!  There will be Happy & Sad Times for Each of them!  It will NOT BE PERFECT!!!  That is called, "BEING ALIVE IN THE REAL WORLD OF CHAOS & LIVING!"  Things that are Truly UNEXPECTED - WILL HAPPEN!  So, there is no Real Way to be "PREPARED" for those things, other than to LEARN TO WORK TOGETHER - Like A Real Team!

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      People that "GIVE UP" on a relationship, must understand that maybe they should NOT have begun it in the first place.  ALL things are in a play of Chaos & Learning, so at least that much is Good...  However, one must be READY to Commit to the Same Level as the Other, and Always Keep it that way, for a relationship to truly work.  If a person is Young & has GOALS to Achieve... Then, they should do those things first!  If NOT, they must make sure that they will still Achieve their Goals within their relationship - just the same.  No one will be "Happy" in the end - unless they do! 

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      So, in a "Relationship" we must ALWAYS Remember to be very Understanding & Supportive to Another's Goals & Needs!  If we only think about ourselves and our own issues, then we should NOT be in a relationship at all.  That is how people can greatly HURT others - even if it is truly Unintentional.  This is why Honesty & Respect are the biggest issues in ALL Relationships; because no one will Trust Another, if they have been "Hurt" from a bad experience.  "LOVE" can be blind at times, but NEVER STUPID!

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      If one FULLY Understands their own Goals & Dreams First, then they can also LEARN how to work a relationship into their life - Around their own Current Needs & Purpose!  If Not, then they should stay away from serious Longterm Commitments that will ONLY Distract Them & Hold Them Back - Until they Do Understand just what it is that they Want & Need in their LIFE!!! 

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     When people get involved with someone that does NOT have a set of Goals or sense of Purpose, then they are setting themselves up for Failure!  Because the person they are getting involved with - has Not Yet Found their Own Heart's Desire!  So, for the time, they will support someone else's path, until one day when they too will WAKE UP & Say, "Hey, I WANT THIS NOW!" So, it's best to ALWAYS Be WISE & SLOW in starting a "Relationship!"

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      Make sure that your "Someone Special" is READY first!  Make sure that YOU are READY! Then, make sure that you both FULLY Understand each other's Goals & Dreams!  Make sure that you can Each EQUALLY Work Together to Support BOTH of Your Desires!  Make sure that you Each Understand the CHAOS of Life's Journey, will NOT Always be Good!  Make sure that you Each Understand the "Seasons of Change" will Eventually Happen - whether you Like It or Not! Make sure that Honesty & Respect are the Key Elements of your relationship - NOT "LOVE" or Fantasy of Passion!  One day, ALL THINGS will be Greatly TESTED!!!

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      To be successful in a relationship, it must be handled with great Care & Respect, just as a Real Business!  Anything else is just Make Believe!  No relationship is a "Fairy Tale of Happily Everafter!" They ALL will have their Faults & Issues that MUST BE DEALT WITH in order for it to be "REAL" and even become "BETTER" in the end.  Nothing is so Profound in its Nature that it can escape the very Chaos of what LIFE throws in a person's path.  So, EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED - ALWAYS!!! And, be willing to LEARN & ENDURE in it ALL Together!  If Not, then do NOT begin in such a relationship, until you are BOTH at last, willing to finally take the Emotional Rollercoaster Ride of ALL CHAOS & ADVENTURE IN LIFE!!!  

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      In the end, ALL Crazy Rides are a lot More FUN & EXCITING when you have someone to Share the Ride & Experience With...  Just be AWARE of what you are BOTH DOING When you Strap Yourselves In... Then, HOLD ON FOR DEAR LIFE & Don't Give Up - Until the Whole Ride is Over! "Until Death Do Us Part..."  But it never says, Which One Will Kill the Other - First! ;-)

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      The final thoughts on relationships are that no one, nor no relationship is ever perfect!  And, real "Happiness" must first come from what we have achieved in our own lives - Not from the actions or additions of others.  If we ourselves are Happy on our own, then we will be able to be happy with someone else if we truly Respect them and they likewise Respect us.

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     Honesty & Respect are the most important factors between people for Trust & Continued Happiness together.  Good Communication is vital in ALL areas of life and business, so it must be applied at all times in a relationship.

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      Never live in a Fantasy of what you Want things to be, but accept them for what they actually are.  "LOVE" is truly Unconditional, and relationships are Always bound to have Unexpected Events as part of the Chaos of Life!  So, there should be No Boundaries between Working Together & Always Being Fair!

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   In the end, ALL Relationships take Hardwork, Patience, Dedication, Equally Shared Responsibilities, and A Sincere Mutual Faith & Trust in One Another to Stay Together & Survive the Emotional Ride of Life!  No longterm relationship will ever be easy; because people do not Always see eye-to-eye...  However, the ones that have made it 'til the very end; say that they would not have had it - Any Other Way!

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      So, like ALL things in Life, A Relationship is what Each Individual truly decides to make of it!  Like ANY Good Business Investment with A Partner: You only get back what you are Both Willing to truly put in...  And, in ALL FAIRNESS -  Nothing More!  You just have to ask yourself and your partner, "How Important is this Endeavor to BOTH OF US?  And, just How MUCH are we Each Willing to Actually Give?"

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     If you do decide on a Longterm Mutual Commitment, then you will have to Fairly Accept the Good with the Bad & Learn to Work on ALL THINGS TOGETHER!  Failure in a Business Deal should NEVER be an Option!  So, choose your "Partner" Wisely, and Understand what you are BOTH getting into from the very beginning...  Do Not Rush Into Things!

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      Find someone that is Intelligent, Happy, Reliable, Self-Motivated, Artistic or Creative, Sincere, Respectful, and truly "Dedicated" to the Real Deal of ALL Issues & Needs at hand!  Do NOT Accept a "Business Partner" that talks about things that are in Conflict with ANY Part of your own plans.   Then, if ALL things are in Good Working Order, take your time and give "Your Business" a fair chance to seriously start to Grow!  Godspeed Indeed!!!  

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The Real Truth:

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      There is an Unmatchable Beauty in having a Real Loving Longterm Relationship, where two people can hold hands and proudly look at each other and say, "You know Babe, We Made It!  And, we did it ALL Together!  Through the Good Times & The Bad, We ALWAYS Had Each Other...  And, We ALWAYS WILL!"  That is what most people call, "MAGIC!" 

      There's an old wise saying that states, "In the end, you will be able to count the real true friends you have in life, on just one hand." 

 

      Think about that wisdom very carefully when choosing a partner.  A Real Friend Loves & Accepts You for WHO YOU ARE; and just HOW YOU ARE!  They Truly RESPECT YOU & Will Never Leave Your Side... They'll be the ones that Stay Beside You - Through it ALL...  It won't matter if it is Thick or Thin, they'll be right there with you - until the very end!

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Sir Richard N. Rockfire

 

 

 

 

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